Top 10 Best Things About Russia Shipping Enriched Uranium to Iran
10. Gives the Israeli smartbombs something to aim for.
9. Soviet engineering means large probability that it’ll go Chernobyl on Ahmadinejad’s ass.
8. Next time we invade a Middle Eastern dictatorship there won’t be any arguing about whether they have nuclear material.
7. If they take it to Dr. Emmett Brown to be weaponized they’ll get nothing but a shoddy bomb casing filled with used pinball machine parts… and Michael J. Fox will get a new truck!
6. If Ahmadinejad tries to eat it the lead paint chips in his stomach will afford very little protection.
5. Saudis will probably kick Iran’s ass and take it.
4. Increased incidence of brain cancer among Iranians without leadlined turbans.
3. Very good chance that Putin will just send them a rock and suppress media reports of his duplicity.
2. Sand forms a natural neutron deflector, meaning large chance that the whole country spontaneously melts down.
1. Now when we nuke Iran it’ll make an even bigger boom.