10: Tell them the tickets weren’t made from recycled paper.
9: Require them to count to 911 before letting them through the door.
8: Convince them that blubber from slaughtered whales is a major component of celluloid.
7: Tell them Hillary Clinton hated it.
6: Inform them, feigning appropriate horror, that Michael Moore eats meat.
5: Hand them a joint and suggest they see ‘Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle’ instead.
4: Dress in a chicken costume and picket the theater, claiming the movie is offensive to your people. If they ask to which people you are referring, act offended and threaten to call the ACLU.
3: Tell them Rush Limbaugh loved it.
2: Tell them they don’t have time to see the movie, as they’ve won a free all-expenses-paid trip to Cambodia. Send them to Vietnam. When they return, indignantly inform them that they were indeed in Cambodia, and that the memory is seared - seared - into your memory.
And the number one way to prevent liberals from seeing ‘Fahrenheit 911’:
1: Tell them all the pre-show advertising is for the Fox News Channel.